This week we made the leap from big picture issues of youth and culture, to the individual aspect of actually talking to people. We spent a fair amount of time on the Acts passage, recognizing that many opportunities to share faith come at unexpected times. We also spoke of the importance of love and patience in our interactions with people. We made the conclusion that there is no single way to approach people, nor is there a training guide for this. We are all people and know how to talk to people. The important thing is to first of all love and ask a lot of questions, far more than you answer.
We also emphasized that as patient and loving as we should be that does not ultimately mean leaving people where they are. Jesus loved us enough to come where we were, but not to leave us there. The same is true as we walk together in faith, and as we love those who don't know Jesus. The question of timing is one we can't answer, but we can support each other, pray for each other, and help each other navigate these waters.
Next week we will start by discussing the next step after this study.
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5 comments:
What an interesting study group. We had two young people join us because they wanted to stay with the Mom/adult that is part of our group. So, we had a little practical exercise. Hum – I do think that we were welcoming. Not only were we welcoming, but because one of our group is skilled in Bible history, she took the time to explain to our young participants what Lydia's occupation was and what it meant in the community. We all learned more than we already knew. I sorta thought it odd that this would be the week that we'd be videotaped; but left that work to the couple that was doing it. That was their job and we had ours.
Frightening? One person said that they thought that they'd be considered a "blabbermouth;" another, that they might not be able to answer whatever question that was put to them. What skills do they already have? Well, first was that they were a blabbermouth, and that was an advantage over the folks that just couldn't share their ideas or talk to people. Another was that we have love for the community and another that we have knowledge and interesting information.
When we looked at Question #2, we felt that we might have answered this in our response to Question 1.
Question 3: Funny, our conversation went to introducing visitors in our services. Not what I would have expected. We talked about how we can do this without embarrassing or making the visitor feel uncomfortable. We also talked about the idea that being willing for the person to be part of our lives might mean not being a phony or fake.
We really didn't answer Question 4 except to relate to the idea of introducing people new to our meeting. We did talk about the fact that folks come into our physical space and sometimes we don't know who they are or what's up with them. For instance, one member of our group was worried that we hadn't greeted Karen and Brian, without knowing that they had a purpose in being with us; she worried that they were visitors who had not been welcomed into our midst. When are people in a position to listen to us? When they are there! We can wait for the perfect moment, but if we don't seize the moment we have, there may never be another. Listen to the Holy Spirit!
Question 5 - We agreed to think about this question during the week and come back with our ideas next week.
What an interesting adventure. We got to do the study and at the same time practice what we've been thinking about - connecting with two of the youth of Peace.
Louisemarie
March 15, 2009
Led by Juliette
First we discussed Acts 16:13-15.
Then we listed scary things about talking to people, especially people we don't know:
-Being judged
-Offending someone
-Misunderstandings
-They might not care
-They might have a medical problem
-Rejection
-Different styles of communicating
-They might not listen
-Distractions
-Not knowing someone when they know you, or forgetting names
-Might be awkward
Skills we already have with communication:
-Using your surroundings (such as talking about the weather or something in the room)
-Someone expressed that they are good at getting out of conversations -I reminded them that we were talking about starting conversations, not ending them, :)
-Saying "Watup?"
-It makes it easier when the other person has conversation skills too
-Music is a good conversation starter
-Compliments
-When you have something in common
-Humor - they said this is a big one because when you can laugh with someone you can get to know them better
-Listening
-Body language
I asked them to share an example of a really good conversation they've had with someone:
-One example was an online conversation with someone who had a lot of things in common.
-Other examples were conversations about video games and other games
-Another comment was about how it helps to talk to someone a little each day (like if you have a class with that person) and then you can invite them over along with other friends and you can get to know them better.
-Another example was an immediate friend at camp (meaning they hit it off instantly), but they observed that many times those immediate friendships don't last long-term.
In general they said just talking about things in common and things you're familiar with makes it easier. They also expressed that it's nice to make new people feel comfortable.
Thanks,
Juliette
Thank you for your posts. I especially liked that Dawna invited youth in with her. Perhaps this might be something to consider for our next stage: creating intergenerational small groups. This wouldn't require dismantling the youth group, but it would be a foundational step in practicing what we're talking about. I have never heard of a church that purposely had groups meet in this form. Normally people are sectioned off by age or interest. This would be a profound shift.
I like the idea of intergenerational groups. Tough sell at the start, but some of the beneficial outcomes might be a feeling of belonging to something other than a peer group. Building sensitivity about the needs of other age groups and finding a way to be helpful on all age levels. I does take some flexibility and a bit of putting aside expectations; seizing an opportunity like Sylvia did in our group. The young people also needed air time, even if at first blush then might be going in a direction outside the scope of the discussion. There are gems in serendipity. Some days I wish I was as articulate at the young man that joined us Sunday.
Louisemarie
Monday night Group: We started finishing last week's study. Some things we are already doing--- youth group/trips with adults. Have established & known rules for behavior and speech (be decent to each other). Show real concern for how they are doing and how they feel. To improve we can find others who deal with youth successfully and model that behavior. From Acts--- pray for the opportunity, willingness to act and take the opportunity's as presented not steer to our comfort zone. Frightening connections are out of our comfort zone, fear of reacting negatively or wrong. Skills we already have--- servant attitude, willing to adapt, know your spiritual gifts, rely on God, practice allowing yourself to be interrupted, don't get so involve with the work of the Lord that you leave the Lord out of the work.
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