Well, my group this Sunday just finished week 2, so we are probably behind the rest of you. Also, Harriet had no one this Sunday and joined our group. Among the best insights this week was that we might be right about what youth need, but the best way to find out is to ask and be patient for the answer. This also came together for us with our action plan. We decided to help with the OC this Sat (Feb 21) and get involved in a project that would get our youth involved in caring for the property, and paying them (meaning the PYRO account) instead of a landscaping business. I also told the group that I would hold them accountable to this promise.
In discussing the frightening things we found that we were afraid of being irrelevant and of really devoting chunks of our lives to another individual. These are great insights for us to be aware of as we make action plans. In terms of relevancy we found that being present and open-eared is more important than being cool or interesting. In terms of the second fear, we decided boundaries will need to be established in order for us to be more effective. We didn't decide on these boundaries as of yet.
I look forward to hearing from you.
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Feb. 15, 2009
Led by Juliette
Youth present: Elizabeth Growney, Helen Wakefield, Rachael Reynolds, Patrick Abercrombie, Matt Growney (for part of it), Emily Ames, and the Lutheran High praise band.
Emily and the praise band couldn't stay for the whole thing. It was great the band could join us, but it did create a different dynamic. We didn't get all the way through Week 2 and will have to complete it next week.
I started off by reminding them about the Work Day this Saturday and that we'll be working on the OC. I mentioned that the Korean church will be using part of that space on Sundays, but it shouldn't conflict with our use of it. I also told them about the landscaping idea: They seemed receptive to that, but I think we need to talk about it more before we make any decisions.
In what ways are youth suffering in our society?
- drugs/alcohol
- abuse/neglect
- human trafficking/prostitution
- depression/thoughts of suicide
- peer pressure
- busy
- tired
- too many options
- homework/pressures at school
- not enough to do/boredom
- adults thinking they're better
I asked, "When youth act with disrespect or arrogance toward adults, what do you think this stems from or what causes youth to behave his way?"
They answered by talking about ways that adults use their authority over youth. They felt that their teachers many times used harsh punishment or that they sometimes punished the wrong person. Some kids get a bad reputation at the beginning of the year, and then they get in trouble even when they don't deserve it. They dislike corporate punishment; where the whole group gets punished for something one person did. However, they did say that kids listen to peers more than they listen to adults...I asked why that was, and they said that they're always around their friends and they're able to talk it out rather than just being told what is right. They expressed that adults many times think they have the solution to everything. They said that when you don't argue back, it's usually better and you receive less punishment.
I don't remember what question this was in response to, but at one point they expressed that adults sometimes have a wall, and kids get hurt trying to get through.
I thought it was interesting that on a question where I was asking about youth being disrespectful or arrogant, they started talking about how adults are sometimes arrogant, unfair, or closed off. Maybe they were trying to say that youth respond with disrespect or arrogance when adults act that way? Maybe I will try to clarify that next week.
Thanks,
Juliette
I think that I'm hearing at least one theme that comes both from the "adults" and the youth. I hope I'm not jut a one note annie on this, but since the idea came from my group, I feel good about pushing it forward. It seems that youth feel that adults don't have time for them (hear them, encourage their ideas, accept information without judging,etc.) and adults (at least in my group) feel that the youth don't get enough of the same from adults.
Louisemarie
I am struck by the list of suffering that the youth came up with. It's interesting that they highlight "too many options" and "boredom". I think this speaks to a lack of adult guidance and quality time. With so many options, it's very likely that any choice quickly becomes boring because the other choices are always there, and the grass looks greener.
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