This was a very productive week. We spent a large amount of time just talking about Psalm 71, and how the Psalmist goes back and forth between crying out to God and praising Him. We noted particularly some of his harsh words against his enemies and pointed out that justice is still important for us even as we turn the other cheek. By asking God to destroy our enemies we are seeking for Him to be judge rather than becoming vigilantes. All this related to youth in that we can teach each other and our own youth to turn to God in all these things, bullying, unjust teachers, etc. The Psalmist is genuine in a way that younger people can relate to.
We went on to discuss the question about what is different for youth today and came away with lots of different insights. Among these is the idea that kids do have some advantages, but also tons of disadvantages. Among these technology has created opportunity for good and for ill in their lives. In general, we found that we did not entirely agree with the sentiment that kids are just more spoiled.
We did not get into the following questions and decided to start the next session by making a decision for some action as a group. I am eager to see if everyone else got farther than we did on the questions.
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Offering a Wednesday evening Vision Study had hoped to attract participants looking for the convenience of a group that met mid-week at church… however, it seems everyone has settled-in with one of the many other groups that meet throughout the week. So, I am glad to say, that everyone wanting to participate, is… just not on Wednesday evenings. After talking with Ryan, we will no longer offer the mid-week Vision Study group, and I will be joining the Friday evening gathering at the Perling’s. Blessings.
Sunday Feb. 9 Small Group. Our group group increased in size by one, net. Sylvia and Dawna joined us and Joanne was not in attendance. We read Psalm 71 - each in turn taking one verse. Our discussion revolved around the pieces of the Psalm that brought strength and hope and confidence to the group; particularly verse 9. Olu shared that when she was young she and her siblings memorized all the Psalms. No wonder when she calls on God in prayer that she call Him in His own descriptions of Himself. Q2 - differences: we identified that youth today have more material things; that they have an 'instant' life - utube, mob mentality; parenting has been given over to other things - the media, institutions, and peers resulting in a lack of belonging; youth today are less respectful of the perogatives or needs of others - almost demanding entrance into the time and lives of adults rather than asking. "I want to come over to your house this afternoon instead of asking to be invited." I guess that might mean more self-centered. Youth today have almost no attention span; possibly as a result of the instant life mentioned earlier. Q3 - youth today seem to have an overwhelming need to belong - see Q2. It is amoung other things the lack of parenting and community that create a vacumn for belongingness; a lack of time that makes the youth feel inconsequential. Perhaps that's part of where the lack of respect comes from. Q4 - Scarry? the music of youth today; fear that we might not be able to connect; lack of manners; no sense of the ownership of time or resources and material possessions of others. Q5 - intergenerational benefits: One of the ideas that began in week one was that in past generations there were watchful eyes, where no child (or most children) wern't under the careful attention of someone in the community. This gave youth the feeling that there was a standard that neede to be lived up to and that there was always someone who would pay attention to them, It promoted a sense of responsibility, belongingness and saftey. Q6 - Pray to be enlightened to our own needs and insecurities; BE AVAILABLE - provide opportunities for youth to earn, learn and talk at the same time; interact with youth, ask their opinion on issues that adults face, like how to respond to a nephew in a particular circumstance; convey an interest in them, not just tell them what to do; interact with youth (time) like sponsor a game night or somthing similiar. Harriet will be leading our Sunday group next week and we can catch up with her then.
Louisemarie
More next week
On reviewing the comments I posted, I'm put in mind of a time in '69 or 70 when we lived in Rio Dell, Humboldt Co., CA. We lived across the street from what only could be called a "hippy", communal style "family." While very much unlike my husband and me, married with just one child, there were people and children coming and going constantly from that house. I guess George and I were some pretty mild chldren of the 60's ourselves. These folks survived in part by living off the land, foraging for foodstuffs like picking up fallen fruit in an orchard. We were often the greatful reciepants of their hard labor, a bowl of fruit being shared with us. My son, about age 5 loved to visit with them. What I found was that in this community of people, there was never a time where there was no lap to sit in to be held, consoled, listened to or read to; to be paid attention to. This is a treasure that has been lost to our youth. In less unconventional families in the past, this niche was filled with multigenerational members of the family. I guess in my own way, I've unconsciously tried to be that to my grandchildren. Our youth at large have no such free and safe experiences to rest on to become adults. I think that was what was suggested by the idea of giving youth the opportunity of being able to earn, learn and talk with someone (one of us) at the same time.
Louisemarie
Week 2 – Close Encounters
Youth Meeting Notes – February 8, 2009
Led by – Linda Ames
Youth in attendance - Sarah Perling, David Cameron, George Boone, Josh Boone, Emily Ames, Patrick Abercrombie, Helen Wakefield, Rachel Reynolds, Hannah Smith
Leaders: Begin by sharing any insights that you learned from the other groups and recap briefly your own group’s discussion from last time.
The discussion started with Linda commenting that the other groups had stated that ‘youth and adults aren’t really that different . . .’ and I asked for their thoughts on that statement. They responded that maybe there are some similarities, but that youth and adults are not the same because youth don’t have as much past experience to draw from as adults do . . . and that it seems like adults know how to ‘fit in’ with other people and that youth are trying to do what they can to try and ‘fit in’ with their peers. They also noted that generations are different . . . that it is harder now than it used to be because there are so many different distractions with technology and it is harder to stay focused. They felt it was easier for previous generations because they didn’t have so many different things to do, to watch or to try and get their attention. They also felt the pressure is more intense for today’s youth because they are expected to learn more facts and information faster than in the past and the expectations of success are greater than they were in the past.
The youth also talked about the fact that as teens their hormones and mood swings are greater than they are with adults. One youth commented that he can go from feeling happy and content one minute to wanting to punch a hole in the wall the next minute and not even know (understand) why his mood had changed. They felt adults don’t have those physical/physiological changes going on inside of them that teens do.
They commented that adults seem to be pushing for more and more ‘results’ out of the youth around them and that the youth don’t like feeling pushed. They (the youth) like moving at a slower pace and taking life as it comes rather than feeling pushed from one thing to the next. Comments about needing to please teachers came up also . . . that they have to try and figure out what the teachers are expecting of them and each teacher is different so it takes energy and thought for them to try and understand the expectations from teachers at school, which is hard for them sometimes.
Linda then told them that some of the comments from the other groups had to do with listening to each other and she asked them if they felt ‘heard’ from the adults around them. They responded that they felt that most adults around them had the “I’m right and you’re wrong – because you’re a kid” attitude. They realized that some adults are better listeners than others, but overall, they felt that adults want kids to listen and do what the adults want . . . that adults really aren’t that interested in the thoughts and feelings of young people (pre-teen/teens). They then stated that not having someone who listens to them makes them feel alone, angry, depressed, and/or sad. They acknowledged that in some areas of their lives they feel heard, but the areas they don’t feel heard are around the following: peer pressure, school work/studies, grades, who their friends are and why, relationships, behavior, opinions, thoughts-ideas. They noted that these are general thoughts and that it is not like no one ever listens, but these are the harder areas of their lives that they would like to really feel ‘heard’ around. One youth also noted that sometimes adults take their thoughts TOO seriously . . . that sometimes they just want to be able to talk without an action or big response to occur because they are just stating their ideas or feelings and that the adults can sometimes over-react to these thoughts/ideas/feelings.
Read Psalm 71. How can this Psalm specifically guide our visioning study?
Because the group was communicating so openly, Linda chose to read the Psalm at the end of the lesson and keep the dialog/communication going by moving through the other questions. Linda led the group through the Psalm at the end of the lesson. The youth took turns reading verses and then Linda pointed out why this Psalm was chosen for this study and picked out particular verses for them to note. We then closed the meeting in prayer.
Assess the following quote: “These kids are no different from when I was a kid. They are just more indulged today. And they have more options – from sports to money to the Internet. Kids today are just a more spoiled breed of us when we were young.” What is different about youth today and what is the same?
The youth responded that maybe this statement has truth to it but that adults need to remember that it is their ‘fault’ that kids are indulged. They noted that it was adults who created all the options and who are giving them all ‘the stuff’ in their lives. Adults are creating all the ads and commercials, which make young people to want to buy the stuff. They felt having too many options/choices with things makes life stressful. They also said that their parents are busy too because they also have more options/choices. They felt getting more makes you want more. They also felt that maybe they get lots of stuff because their parents didn’t have it and want to be able to give it to their kids – or because their parents like to get stuff too.
What are some specific needs that youth have today? If we’re unsure, how can we learn this?
Latest technology, money, attention
What scares you most about the prospect of working with youth?
Adjusted for the youth, Linda asked, What scares you the most about the prospect of working with adults?
Concerns about working with adults were that they would be judged (negatively), that they would be pressured, they would not be heard/listened to, they would get in trouble, they would not be accepted, and/or they would not be taken seriously.
Adjusted for the youth, Linda asked, What scares you the most about the prospect of working with adults?
The youth felt that adults might feel pressured to ‘know it all’ before working with youth and that they might be intimidated because youth can learn faster – especially with technological things.
What are the benefits of connecting multiple generations?
The youth felt they could get wisdom from those who are older than they are and that spending time with people older then they are and that spending time with them would make you feel closer to them rather than feeling that you live in ‘separate worlds’.
What are some ways we could connect with our own youth?
Adjusted for the youth, Linda asked, What are some ways adults in our congregation could connect with you guys?
The youth said they needed help to fix up the OC. They need help to get things done, because adults know how to do that and they don’t (i.e. fixing things, moving things, buying things). They were a bit frustrated with not getting the youth area fixed up because they felt it had been ‘all talk and no action’ and they wanted to get it done because they felt it was important to have a nice space to hang out.
They also felt adults could connect with the youth by listening to their opinions and ideas and by creating church services that draw them in and make sense to them. One student said it is hard to stay awake in church because ‘I’m bored’ during church’. They said it would be good to have adults go with them on outreach/mission trips and to help get other youth to come to church and then to do things together.
Adjusted for youth, Linda asked, What are some ways you can connect with adults in our congregation?
The youth responded that they could participate in church work days, and in more church activities (Crab Feed, Christmas tree set up, etc). They also said they could be better at listening to what adults have to say and to be genuine in trying to get to know them.
Closing: See Number 2 above.
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